Saw a cheating husband get busted tonight at dinner

[PaulL]

I don’t intend to give my wife a reason to cheat on me, and I damn sure wouldn’t cheat on her. If I did…whew…I shudder to think what kind of horror she would inflict on me. I don’t think she’s scared of prison, FWIW.

My philosophy on choosing a mate has always been to marry a woman that can be your best buddy. The reasoning behind it is that when you’re ugly and wrinkled, can’t see, can’t hear, can’t chew food, can’t screw, and can’t go 2 hours without pissing your pants…your sorry ass is going to need a friend.

[Renegade]

@variablebinary

Rookie move. Never take your mistress anywhere you take your wife.

+1

Serious tradecraft fail.

[QuietShootr]

@Suwannee_Tim

A buddy got married years ago, big wedding, all the bells and whistles. The bride’s family is old money, very high class. Mike’s bride was a joker but this time she out did herself. Mike had a girlfriend some years previous, a real hotty and very, very sexy. Mike had lost contact with her and did not know she had gotten married and was very, very pregnant. His bride, Nancy arranged for this woman to show up at the rehearsal dinner. She stormed in shrieking “Where is that son of a bitch?” Walked over to Mike and began loudly informing him that married or not to “this PERSON” (pointing at Nancy) he was going to meet every obligation, pay every penny for “OUR CHILD”. She then stalked out leaving Mike to attempt to explain what everyone present but him knew was a joke. He was not able to make a very persuasive explanation. After about two minutes of trying the ex-girlfriend and her husband came back in the room and we all got a good laugh. I don’t think Mike really thought it was funny but he put up a good pretense.

I take back what I said before. I want to party with you, Cowboy.

[variablebinary]

If you are white and protestant (or atheist), the odds of you getting divorced are higher than other demographics.

So for all you white men, marry a catholic Asian, Caucasian or Hispanic…female preferably. It increases your odds of having a lifelong marriage

That demographic is among some of the lowest in the nation for divorce.

Culture is a big part of it as well

[HES]

@kartoffel

Unless it’s a threesome. Then, game on.

Great minds think alike.

[GIJew766]

@JSantoro

Confession.

Being a professional bachelor, my first thought when I read the title was “Oooo, dinner AND a show…!”

Engaged and had the same exact thought! Does that make me a bad person?

The other good ones are when the dude proposes but calls her the wrong name and they go APESHIT! Those are almost as good as cheating spouses, but not quite as much anger.

H

[Suwannee_Tim]

@QuietShootr

I take back what I said before. I want to party with you, Cowboy.

Sure Quiet. Sure. Does this mean I have to take back what I said about you?

Thinking back on this prank I don’t think everyone was in on the joke. The grooms mother was, his sister, I was, I think the bride left her family in the dark. They were as much victims as the groom. I almost peed my pants trying not to laugh.

[randyman_ar]

@montanadave

Speaking from experience, I think it’s rather naive to predict how you are going to react/respond to the situation until you have been through the emotional wringer of an unfaithful spouse.

It is the most painful, humiliating, confusing, gut-wrenching, enraging experience I’ve ever been through. And I did some things I would have sworn I would never do or allow to happen. It is big time fucked up and most of that cool, rational “this is how I’d handle it” thinking goes right out the window.

Having the support of family and friends who can listen to all the crazed bullshit and then inject a little sanity into the situation will save your ass.

Exactly!!!

[BWT]

I don’t intend to give my wife a reason to cheat on me, and I damn sure wouldn’t cheat on her. If I did…whew…I shudder to think what kind of horror she would inflict on me. I don’t think she’s scared of prison, FWIW.

I LOL’d.

Reminds me of the scene in old school “Man my mom said if I screwed this up she’d kill me.”

“Dude, it’s not that bad you’re going to be alright.”

“No She really said it, “(Character’s name), you’re the only one in this family to go to college, you screw this up, and I’ll kill you” She showed me the knife.”

[HK51Fan]

I just read this and the first thing that came to mind was.

What’s the going rate on a tip for a waiter that totally drops you in the grease like that? WTF?:haha:

That’s the problem with the service industry…and all working people these days. Nobody takes pride in their craft.

Watch some older movies or listen to some older guys talk. Back then waiters and concierges were discreet, they had all of the hook ups. If you wanted drugs, a hooker, you pretty much name it. Your conciege could track it down for you. Waiters were discreet there’s no way a professional waiter would have dropped you in the grease like that!

I say fire the freakin waiter for his rookie mistake!

Just saying!

[lloydkristmas]

@HK51Fan

I just read this and the first thing that came to mind was.

What’s the going rate on a tip for a waiter that totally drops you in the grease like that? WTF?:haha:

That’s the problem with the service industry…and all working people these days. Nobody takes pride in their craft.

Watch some older movies or listen to some older guys talk. Back then waiters and concierges were discreet, they had all of the hook ups. If you wanted drugs, a hooker, you pretty much name it. Your conciege could track it down for you. Waiters were discreet there’s no way a professional waiter would have dropped you in the grease like that!

I say fire the freakin waiter for his rookie mistake!

Just saying!

Haha who knows, maybe the guy was a bad tipper and the waiter decided to fuck him over?

[variablebinary]

@HK51Fan

I just read this and the first thing that came to mind was.

What’s the going rate on a tip for a waiter that totally drops you in the grease like that? WTF?:haha:

That’s the problem with the service industry…and all working people these days. Nobody takes pride in their craft.

Watch some older movies or listen to some older guys talk. Back then waiters and concierges were discreet, they had all of the hook ups. If you wanted drugs, a hooker, you pretty much name it. Your conciege could track it down for you. Waiters were discreet there’s no way a professional waiter would have dropped you in the grease like that!

I say fire the freakin waiter for his rookie mistake!

Just saying!

I remember waiters and bartenders giving me the wink and nod when they saw me there 4 times a week.

Now…Haters…

[nimdabew]

@lloydkristmas

Haha who knows, maybe the guy was a bad tipper and the waiter decided to fuck him over?

I would put my bet on this. 8% just doesn’t cut it at an expensive place.

[Suwannee_Tim]

This is an example of why, when I take my wife to dinner, we go to Hardees or Burger King. You don’t have to worry about stuff like this. Besides, it saves money for guns.

[Magic_Salad0892]

I once saw a guy propose to a prostitute at a sushi bar once.

No shit. After she said yes he added ‘‘but you can’t let men pay you for sex anymore.’’ and she responded (with tears in her eyes) ‘‘YES! YES! YES!’’

They got a free meal.

BTW: If you ever want a free (or discounted meal) just propose to your woman loud enough for everybody to hear. I’ve seen this done 5 times, by two different friends of mine.