The SteyrAUG Guide To Total Happiness...

General General Discussion
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  1. Stop watching the news - The only thing that makes the news is depressing, shocking and dramatic things. Good news never makes the news. Being aware of current events usually leads to concern and stress. Your parents always told you what you don’t know can’t hurt you and this includes crime, disease and dangerous places. Just like the boogeyman if you pretend these things don’t exist they won’t find you.

Remember when your parents suggested you try and make friends with the school bully? Well criminals are just the same people grown up. They aren’t bad people, they are friends you don’t know yet. Just remember if you think only good thoughts, only good things will happen to you. If you must watch some form of news, limit it to things like the Today show.

  1. Avoid education - Your education should be limited to the ability to count money and perform some skill that allows you to earn a living. For example if you are going to be a surfing instructor you will need to know how to surf. You won’t need Quantum Physics to be a good surfing instructor. Some will suggest you will need to know some geography but that isn’t true. The guy flying to plane or steering the boat to take you to the good surfing locations will need to know geography, not you.

Education usually only leads to discovering long held and preferred beliefs are in error and this leads to stress and concern. Education is also hard and can lead to failure on your part which will only make you sad. Education can also lead to self evaluation which is also something to avoid. If you limit your knowledge of things like honor, self respect and accomplishment you won’t feel compelled to actually attempt any of those things. This will make life much easier which will make you much happier.

  1. Avoid politics - Knowledge of government and how it functions, especially in contrast to how it is supposed to function is stressful and depressing. Do not research things like the rights and freedoms you are supposed to have. Limit your participation in politics only to the Presidential election. Vote for the guy who says things that make you feel good and happy. If possible vote for a minority or female candidate so you can reassure yourself that you are a good person who is not a racist or sexist in any way. It will make you feel good to know you are a good person. You shouldn’t even know who the candidates are for Vice President or any other position. Simply vote for the names you like the most.

Knowing how governments work is the job of the people in the government, not you. Let them learn all the big words and fix all the hard problems. No sense in you getting bummed out knowing about it, you certainly aren’t getting paid like they are. They will tell you what you need to know and what, if anything, you need to do.

  1. Get Religion - Some think religion is a bummer but that is because some people pick the wrong ones. You want to be religious so you won’t be depressed by the thought of dying. The belief that when you die that you will go to some kind of happy place will make the whole thing much more acceptable. A religion where the afterlife is even better than this one is best. Knowing you will go to a place with hot naked chicks you can have sex with, great music and all the food you can eat will make dying something you can almost look forward to.

Try and avoid religions with lots of rules and regulations. You shouldn’t have to not have fun in this life in order to party in the next life. Choose carefully. For example Buddhism seems cool but it is actually a lot of work, requires improving yourself and says you gotta let go of your stuff to be happy. And as we all well know stuff makes you happy. Islam seems like a good choice, it proves to others that you don’t let things like 9-11 make you hate people and that makes you feel like a good person. But it has LOTS of rules that limit your fun here. Try and find something like Scientology which is easy to understand and simply helps you learn who you are in a non educational way. Satanism is another good one as it is designed to make you happy. It also has a cool “shock value” which you will enjoy even though Satanists don’t actually believe in Satan or God. The only real downside is they don’t believe in an afterlife, but you could just make up your own brand of Satanism if you want.

  1. Focus on you - Nobody is going to make you happy so sadly you have to do it yourself. Discover what makes you happy and do only those things. Only spend time with people who also do those things and who you enjoy being around. It is not your job to make other people happy, that is their job. Your job is making you happy. Simply do what you want, when you want for as long as you can. You might not be educated, but nobody can say you are stupid.
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Or, one could just man up and understand the difference between the depressed masses and those who understand happyness is something to pursue, not necessarilly attain, are that the depressed masses let their emotions control them and the real men control their emotions.:wink:

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Classic! I like it!:stuck_out_tongue:

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If I were an idealist I would love it. :slight_smile:

Being a realist, I find it impractical.

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I much prefer to know as much of what is wrong and the continuing realization that I can do nothing to change it…oh well, 2012 is getting closer…

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That sounds hard and so it makes me feel sad.

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  1. Sniff Model Airplane Glue.

Great post AUG.

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  1. Stop watching the news -

Agreed!

  1. Avoid education.

Disagree. A lifetime of learning is one of the few ways to be happy.

  1. Avoid politics

Agreed. Unless you are the head of a Corporation, large-non-profit, a major elected official or colossally rich you have little or no influence. Not worth the hassle. Not even worth the gas to go vote.

  1. Get Religion

In my view you are either spiritual or not. I have little use for it personally.

  1. Focus on you

Agreed. A person should pursue the minimum amount of pain. However, raw selfishness can lead to pain. Friendship, family, loving your neighbor (within reason) are usually sound paths to personal happiness.

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Spicoli? Is that you?

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Aloha, Mr. Hand.

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TheLandlord Guide to His Total Hapiness…

  1. Step onto your back porch.

  2. Reach in pocket

  3. Remove pack of cigarettes

  4. Pluck one out of the box

  5. Light, draw, exhale, enjoy.

The wife tells you about something horrible on the news through the open window?

Screw it. You’ve got smokes, and the news, quite frankly, doesn’t make a difference anyhow.

You could ponder you place in the grand scheme of life; or you could just burn a Marlboro, look at the stars, and say “who gives a shit”.

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LOL. Strange, but funny post.

The education thing is a good one. G. Beck was taking his one daughter to look at a couple fancy (ivy) liberal colleges and after one of the tours he turns to his daughter and says; “Honey you don’t have to go to college. Daddy didn’t go and is stickin RICH!” :smiley:

I am personally ALL FOR learning and growing. I just have never found anything in a college that helped me do either. YMMV.

C4

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While not always the case, the higher the education(college), the higher the indoctrination.
Funny post by the way Steyr

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Agree.

My wife was finishing up her Bach. degree some years ago and was taking a marketing type class. She came home and said to me; all the things you do in our business (to grow it) is listed my my book. How did you know how to do that if you have NEVER taken a marketing class??? I explained to her that it was just common sense and came up with the ideas on my own.

C4

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Exactly,

I have a wall full of paper from various colleges, a law school, etc. Everything I learned worth a crap I learned on my own.

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When I finished up Cryptology school and got to my first duty station and started to work a real collection mission, I quickly learned that what was taught in school was 100% worthless. I had learn everything on the fly via hands on.

C4

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Education is overrated.

I hold a measly Associate’s, and even that was a waste of time.

Universities are businesses, first and foremost. Unlike Grant, these businesses sell you intangibles, with the promise that what has been achieved can never be taken away. :rolleyes:

Meanwhile, Joey Six-Pack racks up $30,000+ in student loans, that will take years to pay off. Once the interest starts accruing, Joey’s debt burden is growing like Kirstie Alley’s waistline.

If Joey had joined the Military, he would have gotten three hots and a cot, a roof over his head, and almost no expenses. This translates into, at a four year enlistment, four years of solid financial saving.

Or, Joey could’ve gone and gotten a trade-job, and possibly be making $30,000 a year while his drinkin’ buddies are busy raising their own debt-ceiling. If cards were played right, by the time Joey’s buddies are graduating, he’s sitting on a positive savings, and has actual real-world experience.

College, unless under a strict set of circumstances:

  1. Isn’t for everyone
  2. Isn’t financially savvy
  3. Is a great way to have your brain stuffed with indoctrination

I’ll spare you the tales of my days as a Political Science majour. To say my “professors” and I were at ideological odds is a massive, massive understatement.

The University of Common Sense offered the greatest “degree” I’ve ever been given.

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Right you are. I joined the USN and got the following from it:

  1. An education.
  2. Discipline.
  3. A pay check.
  4. How to follow instructions under stress.
  5. How to solve problems in the most efficient manner possible.
  6. A better love for my Country.

I then took my 5yrs of enlistment and education and got a job making $80K (with no Degree). That was more than 3yrs ago. If I was still working for the USAF, I would most likely be in the $100k range.

I left the USN with zero debt, $5k in my pocket, a paid for car. Thank you very much Military. :wink:

C4

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…Because you’re responsible. The military affords an excellent opportunity to accomplish what you have. As everything else in life, it is what you make of it that counts.

I think the biggest problem with “higher education” is that there is some presumption that it is a “ticket to big bucks”. Then the kids graduate, can’t get a job, and are sitting on a pile of debt, all the while having been indoctrinated with the line that “if you don’t go to college, you’ll never have anything in this life”.

Everyone I know who is either in the military, or ex-military, is doing much, MUCH better than my college graduate buddies.

One of my buddies dropped out of law school to join the Coast Guard. Not, you know, to be an ass, but if he’ve done that from the beginning…

…what was I saying about negative savings again?

:wink:

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There was a group of four of us that graduated from high school and kept in touch over the years. Two of them have a expensive degrees and two of us do not. The two that do not have degrees own several successful businesses and make much more money than the other two. The two with degrees are NOT working in their degrees (as they could not get a job in it).

Just sayin…

C4