Rate Of Uninformed Conversations About Navy SEALs Skyrockets
MAY 11, 2011 | ISSUE 47•19
WASHINGTON—The frequency and detail of uninformed conversations about the required strength, agility, and killing abilities of the Navy SEALs has increased exponentially since the SEAL-led operation to kill Osama bin Laden, Pentagon officials told reporters Monday. “Since last week, the number of people who have incorrectly stated that all SEAL members must do 300 pull-ups in a minute, earn advanced calculus degrees from MIT, and be able to hold their breath underwater for an hour, has been extraordinarily high,” said Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell, adding that the comment, “I heard you need to be able shoot a quarter from a mile away after running for four hours straight,” has been idiotically uttered in more than 65 percent of discussions related to the military operation. “Just to set the record straight: Navy SEALs are allowed to talk to their families. Ninety percent of them do not die during training. And members of SEAL Team Six did not have to fight and kill a tiger shark in order to be admitted.” Morrell added that current enlistment numbers couldn’t possibly account for the number of Americans claiming they have an uncle in the Navy SEALs.
My information is that about 10,500 men are or were SEALS. Given an adult male population of about, say 105,000,000, that is about 1 SEAL per 10,000 men. Funny, I don’t think I have met 10,000 people in my life and that includes women and children yet I have met maybe a dozen or more seals. One very special skill they have that is seldom mentioned is their ability to disguise their form. Everyone knows SEALs have a very high level of physical fitness yet all I have ever met had, despite this extreme fitness, a very ordinary, even fat and dumpy appearance. Masters of disguise, you see. One thing I didn’t know until a seal told me, you can get a part-time gig with them. At least you can if you are extraordinary even by SEAL standards. A couple of the seals I have met had regular full time jobs during the week and went on secret missions from Friday afternoon until Monday morning. One thing that puzzles me though and has not been explained to my satisfaction by the seals I have met, I have read that they have an obsession about operational security or OpSec as they call it. Yet many of the seals I have met have had tattoos celebrating their sealhood and all bragged quite openly about their exploits. The next seal I meet, I think I’m going to press them a little harder on this question. Not too hard though. I don’t want to get my ass splattered like a bug on a windshield.
I knew a Seal
Hawaiian monk seal he was nick named HUMPY cause of what he liked to do to tourists snorkeling
Not sure much about him he was quite secretive and ate only food he caught he was about 1000 lbs and did swim 100’s of miles and could swim faster than any human especially when he was excited about a new tourist
Not sure he could shoot ? Flippers and all but guarantee he could kill you with one bite
I think what he lacked on land and air movement he made-up for in the water especially with breathe hold swimming
I grew up around several Vietnam Vets, know a few Desert Storm Vets, and have a ton current friends that have fought in the WOT. I’ve gotten to know most of the guys at the VFW in the area.
I have never met anyone that brags like your talking about Suwannee. Yet it seems on this board that it tends to happen a lot out there. I really can’t wrap my head around the kind of mentality it must take for someone to lie about being something their not, especially something like a Navy Seal.
I have a feeling if I ever met a Navy Seal either retired or active, I wouldn’t even know it.
I take it you have not spent much time on an NYC MTA bus or train. I have this talent for attracting yahoos and there is no better place on the planet to do that than a New York subway train. Not a brag or a boast guys, just a fact.:blink:
Spent plenty of time on the MTA, but people just don’t start talking to me about being a Navy Seal… Who knows, maybe it’s me… People tend not to fuck with me one the subway.
