Some days I wish I could just be as thoughtless and inconsiderate as most of the other people in my zip code. I swear there are days I’m convinced I’m one of only a handful of people raised by actual parents.
So night before last at about 10pm my dullard neighbors are next door with their new puppy. They are simply holding it by the collar. It isn’t on a leash, not in any kind of fenced area, not even on a lap with a good hold. Just a couple fingers through the collar.
Not surprisingly Fido escapes from his intricate confinement and is headed down the street. My dullard neighbors being to walk after the dog. By the time they have gone two houses the dog is around the corner and out of visual sight. Because I know for a fact that these two tards will never catch this dog on their own I grab a led light from inside the house and sprint down the street hoping to catch a glimpse of Fido and hopefully corner him before one of the many fucksticks who do 45 mph down residential streets splat the dog.
After about 15 minutes of running and steering Fido around houses (keep in mind this isn’t even my fucking dog) I get lucky and Fido runs through an open gate of a home with a fenced yard. So I stand there blocking the open gate while the two tard babies walk over to where I have the dog confined.
Rather than help me cover the only way in or out Mrs. Tard Baby goes knocking on the door to get permission to be in the yard. Sure it’s a nice thought but your already in the yard if you’re knocking on the door. And if people come out to see what the ruckus is 1/100 homeowners will understand you being in their yard IF you are retrieving your dog.
Mr. Tard Baby is standing over by the side of the fence going “Yep that’s my dog allright” leaving me by myself to cover the open gate. If I explain the dog managed to get past me while the two tard babies did nothing are any of you really surprised? And the dog ran between two houses over to the next block and that was the last I saw of Fido for the evening.
The retard crew made a valiant effort, the drove around the block two times, came home and went to bed. They are going to make wonderful dog owners. The next day I ask and they tell me they never did find the dog. Amazing given their efforts right?
So anyway last night at about 2 am my motion detectors go off. I am stunned to see Fido on their porch running around and scratching on the door. The dog was only there part of a day and the fact that he found his way home is impressive to me. I’m just waiting for the wonder twins to investigate the scratching at the door and let Fido in.
Except it doesn’t happen. Not a single light in the house comes on. So I figure I’ll go put Fido in their fenced back yard and they will have a nice surprise in the morning. After much effort (again not my fucking dog) I actually managed to steer Fido into their open gate and close it. I go home and no sooner than I take my shoes off I see my motion detector lights go on, look out the window and Fido is again on the front porch scratching on the door.
Seems they build fences as well as they find dogs. So I put my shoes back on and knock on the door (now 2:30am) to let them know their dog came home and is in their front yard. No answer, no lights inside, no nothing. I don’t want to pound on their door because I know they have kids and don’t want to scare anyone. I tried to steer Fido into my backyard but without success. And after he ran into the road several times and almost got tagged by the usual idiots going 45mph down our residential street I stopped trying to chase the dog by myself.
I figure if I put some food on the neighbors front porch the dog will stick around and will be there in the morning. So I go inside to get a bowl of food (again not my fucking dog) and put it on the porch. The dog may have been smart enough to find it’s way home but it never did seem to notice that bowl of dogfood 2 feet in front of the front door. So the dog continues to run around the yard, street and neighboring yards going to scratch on the front door every 20 minutes or so until 5am. And that was the last time I saw Fido before falling asleep myself.
So I ask this morning if they got their dog and they have no idea what I’m talking about. I tell them the entire story and they barely seem to care. They tell me if I see him again I should knock on their door (as if I didn’t already do that.).
So tonight I happen to see my lights go on again at around 10pm and look out the window and Fido is running around their cars. I go over there and tell them I just saw their dog and it ran down the street when I came over to knock on their door. I suggest that if they keep an eye on things, or at a minimum open their blinds and just watch for my motion detector lights they will probably get their dog back.
They said “ok” and promptly when inside, turned off the porch lights and went to bed. The window blinds are visibly closed. It’s now around 2am and so far I haven’t seen Fido. I think Fido may be smarter than my neighbors and could have gone begging for a better place to live. I’m hoping he’s doing ok and I really wish I could just not give a damn about a lost dog.
