Ever since my father passed away last year, my mother has been asking a lot of questions about handguns. I am sure that she feels a little less safe without him around. (Something about having a Former Marine around is comforting I suppose 
) Anyway, I asked her if she would like a pistol and for what purpose? Will she keep it with her, is if just for the house? Now if she wanted it to go shooting for fun I would recomend a .22 or .25 to her. She is a very âgirlyâ woman and when my father and I had her shoot a 9mm, it was too strong of a kick for her in her opinion. However, she is wanting this to be able to stop bad guys. We all know, that a .22 or .25 is not ideal for this in most cases unless you have ideal bullet placement. With all that in mind, what would be a good calber weapon for my mom, that has very little kick yet still has decent stopping power. Also consider ease of use for her training purposes. I was considering a .38 of some kind. Thoughts?
Charter Arms âPink Ladyâ .38sp. Girly- yes, ease of use, revolver- yes, .38sc,stopping power-yes. Itâs also inexpensive for a fire arm that hopefully just ends up sitting in a nightstand.
Or Purse
Iâd take her somewhere and have her shoot a S&W model 60 and a Ruger LCR. If she can handle the LCRâs recoil, the trigger is much lighter and very smooth (at least the one I handled). If not, go with the 60 and if necessary, she could thumb cock it (with lots of practice cocking AND uncocking). If she can handle nothing more powerful, you could at least stoke it with .38 target wadcutters and sheâd at least be punching .38 caliber holes.
The lady smith is a good option. Revolvers are inherently easier to use. For an auto, the bersa thunders a a good economical auto chambered in .380. No matter what you get her, make sure she shoots it⌠A LOT.
Some women cannot pull the slide back on an auto pistol. Iâm not saying all, but in my experience my mother in-law, and sister in-lawâs cannot do it every time. Because of this I would suggest a simple revolver for an older woman. Just have to make sure she can use the DA trigger, if not she needs to be taught to cock the hammer.
Good luck, sorry about your father.
Yes - .38s are better re stopping power ( whatever the hell that it:) - but many non-shooters still find the recoil a bit much - especially in a j-frame sized revolver.
And yes - slide retraction can be a problem with some autos.
I know of sevaral women/elderly folks who have found a happy compromise (though still dropping down to a .22) in going with aa auto like a Ruger Mk II/III - with CT grips installed.
Paint him with the dot - and shoot til either he or the gun stops.
Is it optimum? No! Is it all that âsomeâ can handle or deal with? Sometimes.
Again - just a thought/option.
jm
PS - for the slightly more tolerant newbie - a Ruger LCR has one of the best 2x action trigger pulls out there for a small revolver. That and some CT grips might be another route?
+1 for the Charter Arms Pink Lady. My girlfriend bought one of the first Southpaw versions (Thatâs a whole other story) and we were both impressed with the quality of it, especially for the price. She calls it her âgateway gunâ. You can load powder puffs for practice, and theyâre rated for +P for defense.
Plus itâs always fun to watch all the guys groan and roll their eyes when she pulls it out at the range. 
I think the Lady Smith is another good option, itâs steel frame would help tame the recoil.
Another thought would be to also buy a .22 to practice with. But Iâd suggest they both have the same sites (blade vs. frame notch).
Also checkout the Beretta tip up barrel autos. No need to pull back the slide.
Another vote for the LCR revolver. You canât beat the price point and the simplicity of a revolver for a novice.
I had a .22 bobcat. The tomcat would be a good alternative. Good suggestion!
Well she is not exactly elderly. Iâm not going to spill her age on the interwebz. (She would kill me) but Iâll say she is not elderly or frail. Just girly. This could be an issue of just spending more time with her firing any pistol, but I am definately pretty sure anything over a 9mm would be a definate no.
Bobbo - in your opinion, how was the kick on that for your gf?
They even make the Model 86 Cheetah, which is a .380 tip up that can be DA/SA or cocked and locked for single action fire. The grip and weight are substantial enough to help tame recoil, but itâs still a blowback design. For a soft shooting .380 you might have to find a steel framed Colt Mustang/Pony, or whatever theyâre called.
First off, get her some pepper spray today and show her how to use it.
Next, take her to a range that rents guns and let her try out a variety of handguns so that she can make the choice. I know of so many instances where the wrong gun was purchased by the husband, boyfriend, etc.
After that, purchase a couple low speed handgun courses for her so that she can learn how to use the gun. I would recommend attending them with her and staying in the background for support.
Iâm definately considering finding a range that does this. I am worried that we may get a rental that has been poorly maintained but is otherwise a ver nice pistol. Also, it may prove difficult to find one of these ranges near me. I will try though.
As far as the pepper spray goes, she had it at one time. She used it outside on me to test it (I allowed her to, hurt like hell) but she got some spray back from the wind I guess. She wonât even touch a bottle anymore.
Consider the civilian Taser model.
Then, get her some good, high quality, professional training with a handgun. After that, she can consider what pistol she might feel comfortable with. Iâd recommend a 9 mm M&P or possibly 9 mm Glock if the grip works for her. A small revolver is NOT a good choice for most womenâŚ
I just found a range about an hour away that rents every caliber from .22 up to a 44 mag. Just got off the phone making reservations for tomorrow. Gonna go ahead and let my wife get some trigger time as well and pick her one out as well.
we did the revolvers hear for a Mom and her girl.
Not too bad. It would jump in her hand a bit when she started, but not enough to put her off shooting it. Sheâs developed more upper body strength since then. (When she started shooting she had real trouble racking the slide an semi autoâs, now she can work and shoot her XDm .40 nearly as well as I can! :D) She bought a set of Past shooting gloves a little while ago, and she says they help a lot too. Although she was a little disappointed to find out they make a pair in pink after she bought the black ones. lol
As an aside, she gets a lot of good shooting tips from Women & Guns magazine that a gal cant generally pick up from the periodicals we guys usually read too. A subscription might make a good present and show of support.
This is undoubtedly the best advise in this thread thus far.
I would add when you do this, donât just hand her the gun cocked and locked. You should explain the gun and range safety rules, stance, grip, sighting etc. the guns controls, and let her load it herself. Bring an uplula mag loader for the pistols, but show her how to load the magazines by hand. Iâve heard complaints from a few girls that their guys didnât really teach them that stuff when they âlearnedâ them to shoot. Itâs all the stuff that sheâll learn in a pistol class, but I think it helps to empower a new shooter with this stuff from the start.