I am not posting this to get sympathy or any thing of that nature. I am on one hand venting and on the other telling those of you who may have a friend or family member with problems to never think they will never do it because I just made that mistake.
My youngest Brother has had depression issues for some time now and his marriage went south so he moved into my late Grandfather’s house. Well, 2 nights ago my mom and I found him. He had shot himself. I made her leave and made my dad leave when he got there as I didn’t want them to see him and remember him that way. So I took care of all that follows in these events, and it has been rough. Lots of time to reflect on things I should have done while cleaning up what he left behind when he pulled the trigger. I am a believer that once a man or woman reaches that place where they have made up their mind to end it, little will change their minds. But if you know someone who you think could even possibly be on that path, don’t wait until it is too late to reach out to them.
Very sorry for your loss. In my younger years I can remember dealing with this; somehow I got thru it. Regardless of how hopeless you can feel, the sun DOES come up the next day.
Sorry to hear that. My cousin did the same when we were young. He was like a brother to me. It weighs on your mind for sure. Not only the loss but the what if’s, and if he had only or if I had only. At the end of the day perhaps he is at peace in a better place and maybe that thought will give you a little something positive to hold on to.
This type of situation effects the surviving family members in very specific ways sometimes. If you feel or think that someone in your family is taking this situation in an extremely self-destructive way, do them and yourself a favor, find them some counseling it can go a very long way.
Hootie, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the emotions and feelings you felt at the time or those yet to come. There are never proper words at such a time.
I quoted Voodoo Man’s earlier post simply to reinforce his words. I had a close friend undergo a similar situation. He was with his dad, went out on an errand, and returned to find his father had shot himself. It left some scars that have never healed.
Even if you dismiss counseling as “touchy-feely” bullshit, at least be aware of the potential for problems down the road and, if necessary, get some help. I know most folks don’t appreciate unsolicited advice and I don’t mean to intrude on your grief. But these kinds of traumatic experiences can knock even the toughest SOB in the valley for a loop.
Take care of yourself. And, again, my most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your brother.
My grandfather shot himself when I was about 13. I saw what it did to my mother and my grandmother. And certainly effected me in my “teenage angst” years.
I am very sorry for your loss, I would not wish that upon anyone as I have seen it happen myself. Also, good on you for bringing the issue of depression to light. So quickly we seem to dismiss people with mental struggles because we don’t suffer or experience the same things. May your family stay strong throughout this terrible ordeal.
Very sorry for you and your family. Been a rough month around here. You did the right thing by sparing people that “last image” of their loved one. Not every one in such a situation has it together enough to think about such things.
My condolences on your loss of your brother. I have several in-laws with similar issues and they handle it to better or worse individually. The complicating factor is that it can be so bad they hallucinate or imagine things and are very irrational during some periods so there is no reasoning or reassuring them. The ones that do the best take their medication religiously, and the ones who have gone off meds are much more erratic. But even being on meds sometimes there are periods of irrational thinking and behavior. So not sure there is anything another person no matter how close can do in some situations of depresssion. Guess I’m trying to say don’t tear yourself up too much over “mighta, coulda, shoulda” second-guessing. It is a very difficult situation to try to influence in any way except to encourage to get care and stay with the program.
That was hard thing to do to clean up and deal with procedures, but a great gift to your folks to take that on. Those final images can be haunting.
I am also very sorry for your sudden loss! May the coming year bring some relief to you and your family.
I lost my best friend a few months ago, by his own hand. By all accounts he had everything going for himself. We found out his wife had left him several days before.