Well I recently hit another milestone. In addition to my 10th wedding anniversary I have about 10 years in the gun business. Technically it is a little longer as I started out partnered up with a long time dealer who was looking to retire so I could get some experienced insight and learn the ropes before I went it alone. And it was about 10 years ago that I completely changed my life.
At the time I had a decent .gov job making ok money with ok benefits and the prospects for an ok future IF I could just do my job, keep my fucking mouth shut and not point out or otherwise address all of the inequities and injustices which occurred all around me hourly. In other words do your job, but not so well you make anyone look bad and don’t point out all the things that are wrong.
And after careful consideration I knew I didn’t have a chance and in a Peter Gibbons moment I basically told the right people they could go fuck themselves as I didn’t want to have anything to do with them and that the worst thing that could happen to me is I have to deal with their kind 5 days a week for several years of my life.
I was kicking around the gun business idea but it was still something I planned to do “on the side.” Prior to this I had many blueprints to poverty and worked as a DJ (mobile, radio and studio), a martial arts instructor and various kinds of security work. Not exactly a high power resume.
Safely unemployed and with no real prospects or even an idea of what I was going to do I got married. Many old timers from TOS may remember the arfcom event, the honeymoon at Hedo 3 and the subsequent fallout that put McUzi.com on the map.
With the honeymoon safely over I felt I should figure out what I’m actually going to do with my life and I pulled an FFL and got started. Again old timers from TOS may recall my various trials and tribulations from my “True Tales of the FFL” posts. Eventually after enough trial and error (most of which amounted to not just ignoring internet advice but doing the opposite) I ended up with a profitable business.
I’m not wealthy but I’m doing ok. My bills get paid, I buy groceries and I have some money left over. If I decide to say screw it we’re eating out tonight I can do that without eating mac and cheese for the next 2 weeks to make up for it. And so long as I don’t go apeshit I can buy the guns I “really, really need” and still pay the mortgage.
On top of that I have built a personal firearms collection that most guys I know can’t even come close to even though they make much more money than I do. I collect other things too, I’m a huge cinephile and have something like 5,000 DVDs in my personal library. Suffice to say I have enough “stuff” to satisfy a sense of accomplishment.
And while I’m not fabulously wealthy (no matter who you are in South Florida sooner or later somebody will come along to put your wealth into perspective) my business is stable and reliable. Every year is usually a bit better than the one before and even with the “fixed economy” of the last couple years I’m still head above water which is more than a lot of private business owners can say.
But it hasn’t all been gravy the last 10 years. I lost my father a few years back much too soon. My father is the reason for many of my personal interests and his absence left a huge void in my life. Before that I lost a couple really good dogs sooner than I was ready and I’m still not 100% ok with that. Anybody who believes animals don’t have feelings, emotions or bond like humans do never had dogs as good as mine. Those dogs were better people than many of the people I know. I try and be thankful for the time I got but it’s hard to look on the bright side when you feel like you’ve been robbed.
And certainly one of the best decisions I ever made, even better than buying those HK91 and HK93 rifles for $350 each back in 1983, was marrying my wife. When I consider all the women I might have possibly married I hit the jackpot. Women who I thought were interesting or exciting who in fact turned out to be batshit insane and chock full of incredibly bad decisions are now making some other poor bastards life a living hell. In a rare moment of pure genius I realized I was with a nice person who actually cared about me and I closed the deal.
In that time when other people I know proved less than dependable or otherwise disappointing (including a lot of blood relatives) one person has always been there for me without fail. Given that I spent much of my adult life trying not to have to depend on anyone for anything this can still sometimes be a bit uncomfortable. Whenever possible I usually prefer to take care of myself. But it is quite a luxury to not have to take care of yourself all by yourself. And even if I tell her not to bother, when I’m sick it’s nice to wake up to that chicken soup even if you didn’t ask for it.
I think back objectively to all the girls that I have ever known and while some of them were genuinely nice, I don’t think I could have done any better. I think about guys who have to hide gun purchases or other things from their wives and I realize just how fortunate I am. Considering where I started I sometimes look at my life and can’t believe how lucky I am.
And while I don’t have a Maserati that does 185, I do have a nice Corvette that I’m pretty content with.
and I say you can you just have to give up some things to gain the other ? your arms of life can only hold so much one just has to decide what to fill them with !