A buddy of mine was run over on his Harley. He wasn’t wearing a helmet. He has a pretty unique personality and very few friends and no family. The Docs have contacted me to get a good grasp of his personality before the accident to compare it to the present.
How much would you share to help them help your friend vs betraying his confidence?
For example. They asked about his relationships with women. I know that in the 8 years I’ve known him he’s never once had a girlfriend, but frequently partakes in “pay for play”. This info is useful because it shows his unwillingness to form close bonds despite him enjoying sex (he isn’t gay, for example)
Would that be something you’d share? Drug use? Criminal activity? It’s all protected by HIPAA but Where do you draw the line?
Enough information that the doctors can adequately diagnose his condition but not enough detail that could potentially jeopardize your friendship.
For example: I see nothing wrong with telling the doctors that he hasn’t maintained any significant relationships with girls within the timeframe that you’ve known him; however, he does occasionally hook up for a one night stand.
Same with the drug use & criminal activity. You can indicate that your friend is by no means a saint, but I would leave out the dirty details.
No way would I participate in that, certainly not without telling the guy. I would tell the doctors that if they wanted me to participate in a post-injury interview and evaluation of my friend, set it up so that he and I could be there together. I wouldn’t go behind his back.
HIPAA privacy rules don’t apply here. That’s an obligation incurred by health care organizations, not buddies.
I would tell the doctors that he is a great friend who has a unique personality. On the women issue, I would say that he is straight but hasn’t been in any long term relationships but has had several short term relationships. No need to share any other details on that.
The older I get the less I count on professionalism of people. End of the day in 2015 America the number of people who behave with a professional or personal code is getting increasingly rare.
But I love them too much to let anything be used against them. Besides a lot of all that is nobody’s business.
People come and go, but someone you love (no homo), man that’s too rare to mess up.
Hitting more on privacy rules regarding doctors. I simply wouldn’t mention things about a friend that don’t need to be said that may cause people to hold a certain view about him or his character.
I don’t know about you, but to me this sounds very strange. If I were Euro, I’d simply tell them that his pre-injury personality can be encapsulated by the fact that he was riding a motorcycle…without a helmet.
Out of curiosity, is your friend far enough down the recovery road that you can tell a difference? I assume that if they are asking for your assistance that he is in good enough shape that there is a question as to what he was like pre-accident. Whatever the case, I hope he gets back to his monk-like whoring soon.
I think motorcycles are cool. My cousin was killed on one and my dad was blind in one eye from a closed head injury from his late teens. Pretty much verboten in my family.
What an odd comment. What would be the point of “good for the doctor and his case file”? How is “good for his case file” different from “good for my friend”? What is it that you think the doctor has to gain from not doing his best for the guy?
Well for example if it is a VA doctor, they have demonstrated in the past that they don’t always act in the patients best interest. I’ve seen a few examples in my personal life where the doctor didn’t have the patients best interest in mind, some of them resulting in premature death. Generally these have been the exceptions rather than the rule, but if you are the exception the general rule doesn’t matter.
I had a friend that did the same thing… in Cuba of all places. The only time, to my knowledge, that anyone asked about his previous personality was to get a grasp on just how much of his brain was screwed up. Like was it all injury, or maybe heavy drinking or whatever. He was basically an instant vegetable aside from physical abilities and eventually died.
But at the end of the day… it’s like Sensei says… the fact he rode with no helmet, and maybe you can just say he liked to chase the ladies but not settle down… that should give them the picture. Unless you have met him again, and are having conversations, then it’s no telling what he might be doing or saying. My friend couldn’t have a conversation but would on occasion blurt out phrases often in anger… and I’m telling you… .that could be anything.
Supposedly my friend had some of the best doctors in the county look at him and I never heard anyone say, if we just knew what he used to be like we might be able to do something… but like I say… he was too far gone.
They may be trying to figure a base line and I don’t think you need to tell any secrets to help them develop that. I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure they are going to want to figure are things staying steady, getting worse, getting better. Someone with a colorful personality might make that more difficult. It also plays into which segment of the hospital he might have to be moved to… if he’s bad off, I’m sorry to tell you, but before too long, no one is going to want him and many won’t even be able to care for him even if they do want him. It all depends on what the injury has done to him.
It still gives me the creeps to think what happened to my friend after the accident. It was like a very dark version of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest meets Sybil on steroids.
So no, I can’t imagine where ‘secrets’ are important to be told unless he so far along in recovery and if that were the case why not just ask him?
The comments here have been very helpful, and enlightening. I actually expected the resident MDs to tell me to tell the Docs whatever they want to hear. It’s interesting to see somewhat the reverse.
They weren’t necessarily asking for technical in depth “Give us his full life story” info, but some of what they asked required me to think on my feet to give them the information they needed without going into too much detail. The trouble for me is that I want what’s best for him, but I’m not sure how much of what I know is BS fluff, inappropriate to tell them, or critically important.
The issue is that this guy is very unique and has a very interesting personality. He is very sarcastic, thorough, and stubborn and they are trying to weigh how much of the “speaks his mind chip on his shoulder” he has is due to growing up as a black hoodlum in Philly before doing 8 years in the Marine Corps and how much is due to his TBI.
He’s mobile and can speak but he is still very slow. He actually writes 100% coherently and very well, but the part of his brain that is damaged is his speech/“filter”. So he is slow to speak and when he does speak he says exactly what is on his mind. He actually wrote an interesting, well written, articulate note to his MDs on his white board talking about how he feels he’s been kidnapped and they are ruining his life by keeping him in the hospital. It must be frustrating to be able to communicate your thoughts well in your head and be able to put them on paper but be unable to convey them in speech.
Dude, that ship has sailed. The guy already has a TBI and should not leave his driveway on a tricycle much less test fate on another motorcycle.
Now, before everyone jumps down my ass for being an anti-bike cage monkey, nothing could be further from the truth. I have no problems with people riding their bike, with a helmet, and preferably on a closed track, highway, or road with minimal traffic. Hell, I have no problem if you want to temp fate in heavy traffic - it’s no skin off my ass.
As for you guys who want to ride a crotch rocket like the flaming asshole that you are - keep up the good work. You know who you are - weaving in and out of traffic, passing between cars, going 30 over, and threatening the lives of everyone else on the road. I need you guys out there - my next SBR build depends on your stupid ass doing what comes natural. Saving your otherwise worthless life is good for 1 hour of critical care time each shift - like clockwork. That’s why I softly whisper “cha ching” in your ear as the nurse pushes the Etomidate and Succinylcholine.