Once again, the topic of guns was brought up and once again, my girlfriend and I got into an argument. I usually have a logical explanation for everything she throws at me and she always winds up doing the usual I dont know what to say because Im probably wrong and dont want to admit it so Im just going to say “Whatever” and say “lets just stop talking about this because we have different opinions” response. Anyway, her sister just got back from France because she was studying there this past semester and her argument was that her sister said “I have never felt so safe before walking the streets, guns are not a problem in Europe, yada yada yada.” I dont know why but I couldnt find anything to say to this. Can anyone help me?
Does it really matter what she thinks?
[b]OSAC France 2008 Crime & Safety Report[/b].
Wow a whole semester. :rolleyes: You can’t argue with that. However I lived in France for a good bit of my life and have family that live there still. I have been in and seen far more street fights there than here. There is also a broad phenomenon called “l’insecurite” or “the insecurity” as violent crime by gangs is on a huge upswing. You may remember the riots not so long ago. People certainly got shot.
If she didn’t feel threatened then she didn’t go anywhere threatening nor pay attention to the news. I’d suggest Marseille. I never dealt with the hassle of carrying a gun there, but they are certainly legal in France though not in the same way as here. I carried a switchblade, which was entirely legal.
Your girlfriend’s sister doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Acutally…yes. She is the love of my life and I value her. Im planning on being with her for quite some time, and since I have a strong passion for hunting, shooting and firearms in general, can’t you see how things would be easier if we were on the same page with this issue?
Suggestions.
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Change your opinion to suit her and you will no longer argue over this issue.
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Don’t express your opinion and you will no longer argue over this issue.
Solved!
If she’s the love of your life she’ll accept you for who you are.
In the meantime, there’s no point in arguing. Just keep asking questions till she finds the answers on her own.
My wife was the same way. She grew up in an anti household (PK) but now she understands what guns are for.
This is in no way a deal breaker, as if I dont change we will break up. She totally accepts me. Trust me I try to avoid the topic as much as possible and try not to say anything at all because we all know how it winds up. But sometimes, like tonight, it was on the news and she makes comments that leave me no choice but to interject. Its just really hard for me to keep my mouth closed because I have such a strong opinion about it. Thanks for the help, although I suppose there is no point in starting an argument again. I guess the information on france will just make it harder for me knowing how much more right I am.
O well. At least I learned something.
Dude,
I’ve spent a total of 8 years living in Europe, 5 in Germany as a kid and since 2005 I’ve lived in Italy. The crime problems and violence are there. In Italy we’ve got problems with some of the local immigrant populations and a variety of criminal elements. In Germany they’ve got problems with Turks and eastern European criminal elements. No guns does not equal safer. Ask her how much traveling alone at night she did and if she only stayed in the good parts of town. I’d bet she travelled with friends and didn’t visit say, the slums of Paris looking for a good club. And if you really need a final nail in the coffin, ask her about the Paris riots and if she’d have felt so safe then… It’s easy to feel safe when you’re not visiting the country when it’s nice and calm.
How many shootings had girlfriend’s sister seen personally in the U.S.? If her time in France represents a measure of time, how many of those measures of time have passed in the U.S. in which she didn’t witness a gun crime personally? Hard to argue with straight logic.
It is also pretty easy to flip her argument based on the above. If she hasn’t actually seen a violent crime here and she didn’t actually see one there & guns are supposedly a problem here, why has the ammount of violent crime she has witnessed been the same? By her (the sister’s) she should be seeing shootings like. . . . daily. What is that classic phrase, “yesterday 230 million legally owned guns killed nobody in the U.S.”
Just about any place you go, be it Vegas, the Bahamas, or Osaka . . . if you stick to the part of the city, city businesses and governments have invested in making tourist friendly; you really will see very little crime. Branson and Entebbe are not different. But you go down the side streets and start nosing around, it won’t take too long to find trouble. Usually college kids look to see the sights, follow the perscribed routes & stay in those tourist frindly zones . . . It is only the ones that get drunk and wander down the wrong alley that have problems, same as sailors.
time to mary her or move on I say 
I can only say from past girlfriends that any did not like guns never lasted ?
for the sister ~
get dumped in a bad part of any country you will have things to worry about
go to a soccer game and cheer for the other team while sitting in the home section !!!
see how safe you are then !!!
and in some studies they have more crime than the U.S. !!!
oh an pickpockets and other crimes
For violent theft, France recorded 185 incidents per 100,000 people, compared with 145 in the United States. For simple theft, France had 2,588 incidents per 100,000 people, compared with 2,475 in the United States. And car theft was far higher in France, with 507 reported cases per 100,000 compared with 420 in the United States.
just say well move there if you love it so much !!!
The fact that so many crimes in France now involve firearms – everything from pistols to machine guns to grenade launchers used in a spectacular armored car heist last year – raises questions about France’s supposedly strict gun control laws compared with what is seen as a much more permissive system in the United States.
I am 43 years old, and the number of adults I’ve met who can assimilate a reasoned argument and come to the conclusion that “since you put it that way, I guess I’ve had it all wrong,” is almost zero.
That being said, chicks are much more malleable than guys.
Sorry i can’t help you; I’m not interested in changing anyone’s mind anymore.
I grew up in the Chicago area, and spent some time downtown and on the near north side. I’ve been all over Manhattan, even lived in Detroit for a few years and went into the city for various events. I live in Indianapolis now and have spent a lot of time downtown, even at night.
I’ve never felt unsafe in any of those places, nor have I ever been mugged or attacked or anything like that, for precisely the same reasons mentioned above. I stayed in safe areas, avoided back streets, and didn’t go looking for trouble.
Now, I have to say I’ve driven through some neighborhoods where I locked the doors and knew there would be trouble if I was walking around on foot, especially in Detroit.
Here’s a good response:
The majority of American violent crime occurs in inner city ghettos. Most of the crime is minority-on-minority. Small towns and suburbs have extremely low violent crime. The parts of major cities that are not ghettos also have much lower violent crime, but it does get worse the closer you get to a ghetto due to a bleed over effect.
As long as you stay away from the problem areas, you are pretty safe. Same goes in any other country. The US media plays up violent crime to the point that it seems like it’s everywhere. But if you listen closely, you realize it’s almost always in the same bad neighborhoods. Just don’t go to those places.
yep, mostly illegal gun use over illegal drugs, usually by convicted felons, hmm… murder is illegal, drugs are illegal. What’s the easiest way out, passing more laws to make it look like I do my job.
Ask her sister how many nice criminals she polled to find out whether they preferred fists, knives, guns, or other easily accessible weapons (bricks, bats, tire irons, etc…). Then tell her to shut up and be thankful she did not run into one of the thousands of unregistered firearms, or homemade .22 pistols which many gangs favor. Just because she did not personally see crimes perpetrated with guns doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen or maybe the garbage magically empties every Thursday night?
My point being crimes will be committed with or without guns regardless of the laws.
You could also tell her about my home town - London. Since the handgun ban violence involving handguns has soared by over 60% and you’re more likely to get mugged in London than any other European capital. I’d echo the sentiments of some other posts here as well, just because she “felt safe” doesn’t mean she was. Most of us here who carry on a regular basis are far more tuned in to our surroundings that those who don’t. I do sympathize with your problem though. My wife comes from a long line of Democrats and when we first started dating I had the same issues. I rationalized things with her in a number of ways:
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I always kept my cool and just gave her the facts about guns and crime. Much of what the person on the street hears is pure fantasy regurgitated by the “popular media”. Put the onus on her to gather facts to back up any anti-gun argument she may have (in my experience they find this kind of hard)
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If you’ve had any experience with firearms in a professional capacity - use it as an example. I was a LEO for 13 years and still work with them on a daily basis now. They’re just a tool of the trade. The way I put it to the then girlfriend (who is a designer) was that it’d be like me trying to tell her of the shortcomings with Quark.
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Try to get her involved in shooting somehow. Take her to the range and be the consummate professional instead of the yahoo weekend warrior the antis like to portray. My Mrs wants an MP5 now!
Lastly I think it boils down to respect. Even if she does not understand or agree with your choices, they’re still your choices.
WRONG !! you only “FEEL” she is the love of your life, you apparently are NOT the love of her life or she would compromise and agree with you most of the time.
Im planning on being with her for quite some time
i did that too ! married to the wrong woman for 16 years…, i finally got fed up with the B.S. about my guns, hunting, shooting, reloading, fishing etc., and dumped the witch…, BUT lost many of my most prized guns, i.e., Colt AR-15 first year production, bought in 1965.
my wife, now of 30 years loves guns as much as i do and we often indulge in gun talk, ballistics, calibers best for this or that, the politics of guns…, AND who is the better shot with this gun or that gun…
trust me pal, in the long run you will be very sorry if you really do spend “quite some time” with her…, dump her and look for a “Gun Woman” !!!
i suggest you tell her to accept you as is or, “hit the road, toad” 
jman, if you don’t mind, how old are you and the girlfriend?
I would like to reiterate that these disputes are not ruining the relationship in any way. It is not the deal breaker whatsoever. We simply got into an agument, there was no yelling, eventually I just said ok and we got over it in a matter of minutes. We even watched a movie after. And I don’ think that just because she doesnt feel the same way about something it means she doesnt love me. Thats a bit rash, dont you think? Thats like saying two people are only in love if they agree with each other 99% of the time. By the way rob s, we are both 20.
Oh, boy…
Heard this from a comedian at the Improv Comedy Club . . . and it’s funny, because it is sooooo true:-
‘In a marriage/relationship the man can be right, or he can be happy’