Would-be mass shooters beware: Faculty and students at Oakland University in Michigan are going to be ready to fight back, should you target their school.
University police are reportedly training faculty at the college to fight gunmen in their classrooms with an unlikely weapon: hockey pucks.
Who came up with this idea?
Detroit Free Press explains:
The idea of using the quirky self-defense tool grew out of a training session Police Chief Mark Gordon led in March for faculty members on what they should do if a gunman enters their classroom.
A participant asked what people could bring to campus to be better prepared in case they need to fight back. The university has a no-weapons policy.
Gordon’s advice? Be ready to throw something — anything — that could distract a shooter, even a hockey puck, as a last resort if fleeing or hiding aren’t an option.
“It was just kind of a spur-of-the-moment idea that seemed to have some merit to it and it kind of caught on,” Gordon said.
Gordon said he once got hit in the head with a puck, and the painful event spawned the idea that the hard disks could be used for self-defense.
My take: Oh, I dunno. Just certain words float through my head. Let’s free associate. Dumbshittery. Asshattery. Dumbassery. Efftardery. The depth of stupidity is just unreal. I’d suspect this of being a hoax story from The Onion if it weren’t on a generally reputable site.
There isn’t any research to support the use of hockey pucks in an active shooter situation, Gordon admits.
Nah. COME ON. I thought this would have been supported by some idjit’s bogus study, like they’re always watching the sexual habits of fruit flies an’ shit.
Really. Please tell me this is a joke. A student can’t have a legitimate weapon of self-defense on campus but he can be issued a “feel good” prop more likely to get him killed than just hiding under a table or something.
And didn’t anybody ever teach that if an emotionally hyped up person is subject to pain from a non-lethal blow that the person is more likely to react with anger and a more determined intent to retaliate?
Maybe if the hockey pucks are embossed with Punisher skulls it will make all the difference.
I am sure some are saying I don’t know I watched one knock a guys teeth out one time and what if the children get ahold of it ? I mean do they have safeties or something ? maybe we can come up with a lock box like a security box where the teacher has the key and the principal and ONLY once the principal OKs the use of deadly puck force they can come around and unlock the teachers that need them !