It’s an art every 12 year old must master before they can be truly accepted by their peers.
Living in S. FL I’ve come to expect it from everyone. Doesn’t matter if it’s the shirt and tie crowd or the no shirt at all crowd. and some do it way more than others regardless of the crowd they come from.
And I’ve done it. In fact I have over a decade of internet posts laced with profanity. In some cases it’s simply how I talk when related to certain topics and other times (especially on the internet) it’s done to emphasize a very strongly held opinion (i.e. “UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE”).
I’ve noticed I often do it to more closely associate with my specific middle class peer group that isn’t as easily offended by such things in order to avoid socializing with people who are easily offended by minor things. And of course I do it when relating to people I’m not currently happy with as a form of “fair warning” that “Yes, I am actually serious about being upset with what you are doing right now.”
Maybe I’m just getting old, but I was sitting in a restaurant tonight, nice place but nothing exclusive or fancy, and the guy one table over (ironically shirt and tie) was having a strongly profanity punctuated discussion with the guy he was eating with. Normally I don’t tune in the other tables but he wasn’t really using his “inside voice”, let alone his “inside a nice restaurant voice.” And as a result, despite his clothes and appearance I began to view him in the same light as the average ghetto hoodrat.
And it was enough to actually make me consider how much I want to have in common with such an individual.
Is it pretty much like tattoos where not everyone who has one is a scumbag but often it’s a reliable indicator? Just for clarification so nobody gets in a snit, I know plenty of decent people with ink and anyone with a military tattoo get’s an automatic exemption and I assume they are decent people until I learn otherwise. But it seems that most of the people I have an extremely low opinion of also have ink…and they are loud and constantly use profanity.
Or is it just the way things are these days and profanity has become commonplace, accepted and expected behavior?
Profanity only holds the weight someone perceives it as. I see nothing wrong with it at all. Now there is a time and place for it, say a work environment where you might encounter people it might god forbid “offend” and cost you that job, a job interview, meeting the gf’s parents, other peoples children and so on… But by no means does it signify someone is lower class, less educated, ignorant, etc. A good chance however if someone fails to identify a time and place like the aforementioned or just completely neglects the common courtesy to refrain during the aforementioned, then chances are they are low life trash.
(funnyily (sic), my sister-in-laws call me “Chado-sensei” for some reason – I think it is because I solve their computer problems from 16 time zones away but I don’t really know)
Ive never been able to have a “adult” person explain to me what a curse word is in a technical sense. Its simply words the FCC wont let pass on certain channels, and people only know them as bad because they are told and thats as far as it goes.
If every child born tomorrow wasnt told about these magic words, they wouldnt be used to even a fraction of the frequency they are now, and certainly not in the same context.
Some people say its a sign of weakness or stress, but this really depends on the person.
I’ve never known anyone to be criticized for NOT, using profanity, but we all have known someone who was/is criticized for using profanity. When I have been known to use it, it doesn’t take long for me to seem to use it at the most “Inopportune” time, DAMNIT! Personally, I hate it when that happens to me.
Yes, image matters–be it clothing, body adornments (such as tattoos or piercings), language, manners, and the way one treats subjective ‘lessers’ (service/maintenance personnel).
My brother looks like a total scumbag to most people. Tattoos on his hands and neck (looks like a felon except his work is well done), very muscular (looks like a felon ) but has never been in any legal trouble (and for good reason–it’s not that he, ‘hasn’t been caught’ but because he’s never done anything illegal. He’s as straight as a razor).
He knows the image people see him in and because of this he has to go above and beyond regular manners (like, he always tips 25%+ at bars and restaurants because service people expect a 0% tip from someone who looks like him) and is stringently polite.
I have full sleeves due to a combined effort of being in service and because it was well, the norm among the group of guys I ran with.
These days I get a lot of, ‘oh wow, you don’t seem like the type of guy that would have so many tattos’. WTF? Should I, ‘seem’ like? A rapist or felon or something like that?
I’m a guy who has made girls swoon because I used a semi-colon properly via a text message. I admit, when I first meet someone (invariably female) I go out of my way to not show tattoos because they may, ‘get the wrong idea’ (like I was a bad person or other such nonsense). If I were into 19 year old girls, I would show them immediately because, ‘it’s hot’ or whatever.
Funny thing most tats seem mainstream these days ? I know never makes me think less but I have some ?
My brother a State Prosecutor has them also
And seems sports folks are into them these days
Unless its like here in AZ and I see a big 13 tat on the neck !
But when I taught diving part of my deal was go around the pool get folks to dive this was at a super high end 5 star resort
Same one Bill Gates got married at
This one dude had insane amounts all over plus he had a really potted face and just flat out looked like he would rip you apart
Went up with my typical HEY ya want to go diving he said nah but seems pretty cool
dead day so we started chatting turns out he was worth about 600 million
Ya just never can tell by looks alone
But he spoke very well and you could tell very educated when we were sharing stories about radical things we did not one bad word came out of his mouth !
Now not sure if he swears or not ? But was interesting as most folks at that resort never swore ? Come to think of it never heard any of them at that resort swearing
yet on Maui working at the sheraton or on dive boats maybe call it regular folks I would hear it all the time ?
I have tattoos (I’ll have my sleeves done after I finish the gun projects I’m working on), and I curse a fair amount. I like to think I conduct myself mostly well.
But there is unnecessary profanity. When it’s used more than twice per sentence, or used more then three times per five sentences. IMHO.
Excellent post.
I have found there is a time and a place for profanity and that is generally when dealing with people who can’t seem to understand anything else. But that is few and far between.
Pat
My dad and grandpas used to use profanity until they accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior then their speech changed among other things. They never dropped the F bomb in front of women children or in public and frowned on people that did do such things. Ive never really used profanity and the times I did I was trying to fit in at school and wasnt any good at it and felt bad for doing it. Funny thing is the guys that did use profanity always had respect for me for not using it and when I did use it they called me down for it I always thought that was strange.
