Hypothetical situation… you try to give your gf/wife advice on, say, car tires. She gets upset, doesn’t want to hear it. She tells you she’s not going to listen to you anyway, she’s going to trust what the mechanic tells her, and says she doesn’t think you know jack shit about cars.
How do you react?
never happen. all the women in my life run to me every time there is a car problem wife, sister in-law, mother in law, grand ma… you get the picture. but if it did happen fudge em. no sweat off my expletive deleted. some people are just arrogant and will make there own decisions right or wrong. let her eat crow.
I’m trying to explain to her that everyone has an agenda, and that’s one reason not to trust them. That, aside from the fact that ever ‘experts’ argue all the time about the right or wrong way of doing things.
First of all, things like this are usually about more than just tires.
Second of all, who cares? They are just tires. Put em on, don’t put em on, whatever. In the big scheme of things is it anything to lose sleep over?
Like I said though, things like this are usually about more than tires.
how do I react?
by quickly coming to the realization that we’re not talking about tires or cars or what ever else she says we’re talking about.
of course if I really don’t know what I"m talking about I might just go enjoy a nice refreshing beverage and get on with my life.
if she’s not married to me she would get the toll free number to the best wrecker company in the county.
I think he is on to something here. Just say your sorry for trying to help and go back to cleaning your rifle…or whatever you were doing.
Do what any real man would do… smack her down. Just kidding. I’d tell her to get a second opinion from, say, her father. If it is that big of a deal and she refuses to listen, make sure she spends her own money, not yours.
If I am paying for it then she better listen to me (wife), If she is just my girlfriend and she is paying for it then fine she can do what ever she wants but I would start looking for another girlfriend.
Any woman that would rather take a strangers advise that is trying to sell her something instead of her husband or boy friend (unless he is a dumb ass) is not worth being with.:rolleyes:
Say your sorry?! Hell no, maybe you missed the part where the OP says “she doesn’t think you know jack shit about cars.”
I’d dump her and tell her to go date her mechanic. This shows that she has no respect for your opinion and that usually means she has no respect for you.
Seems to me there are bigger issues at play here. How about the fact she trusts a stranger’s opinion (a salesman at that) over yours? And then to tell you “you don’t know shit” is just a complete lack of respect. I’d be in the market for a better woman if I was you.
She looked into it after the fact. She asked a guy she works with who is in charge of the mechanic dept for their trucks. He agreed with me (see my thread about mounting tires). So she now agrees with me, but still doesn’t trust my judgement because I’ve never changed my tie rods out or whatever else. I guess changing tie rods and oil count, but thermometers, spark plugs, and batteries don’t.:rolleyes:
And that brings up another issue… she actually DID date her mechanic friend. So she says she won’t listen to me, she’ll ask her ex. :mad: The say you’re sorry guy was being sarcastic, I think
And just to put things into perspective… she’s a great woman. This is the ONLY issue we have. We get in a fight over something stupid every 3 months or so, and it’s always about me giving my opinion on something - politics, religion, cars, etc. And our views aren’t really different, she just doesn’t want to hear me out.
Before I separated with my son’s mother there were countless, fruitless arguments just such as this among us. Not about cars, but about nearly everything else. To her I was always wrong about everything and still am to this day. Yet in reality, it was almost always in fact she who was wrong and simply could not see it nor admit it. Not then, not now, even though facts have proven otherwise over and over.
I can’t give you a logical reply to use against someone who won’t discern logic, it just never works. Trust me.
Put it to you this way, if this is a one time incident (car or whatever), try to rationalize with her and then let it go. If it becomes a pattern, vacate the relationship immediately. You will be miserable, guaranteed.
That’s how I see it as well.
Bro…RUN! Do not walk, run away from that relationship.
If she told me I don’t know jack shit about cars, I’d tell her she doesn’t know jack shit about hair and makeup apparently! :eek:
I try to wait the appropriate amount of time to laugh, which is usually after she’s stormed out of the room because I pissed her off. 
go read
“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”
Seriously. It explains this exactly (not with tires but in general this phenomenon).
Short version: Don’t try and tell her what to do. Ask her some questions about what she thinks she should do. Listen etc. Make appropriate noises like, “hmm”, “yep”, “uh-huh”, etc so she knows you are listening. When she is done it may be appropriate and then you can give an option – don’t force it – present it as an option for her to consider.
Women want to be listened to and men want to solve women’s problems and these two things are not compatible without some work.
Nothing wrong with getting along with an ex, but valuing his opinion over yours… eh. She should seek the opinion of a neutral party.
This:
First of all, things like this are usually about more than just tires.
If she is just my girlfriend and she is paying for it then fine she can do what ever she wants
equals win.
Depends on the mood I’m in. Right now, I’d tell her to go fuck herself.
If it was my gf, I would tell her that it is her car, and her money, and she can do as she pleases, but don’t come crying to me when something goes wrong.
Now if it was my wife, I would tell her when she is the bread winner she can make the decisions on the cars, until then, I make the decisions.
Beyond that, I have been working on cars all my life, and know them inside and out.